Sunday, November 11, 2012


Liz, Holly, Dave, and Danielle are sharing a picnic blanket surrounded by the tall grass of the former Neutral Zone. The usual picnic accouterments are spread out on the blanket. Danielle is sipping lemonade. Dave and Holly are eating chicken wings. Liz is brooding.

Liz: Did we really have to do this on the sacred spot where you two first humped?

Danielle: Well, I think it's sweet.

Dave: Liz, honestly, I'm sorry if you're uncomfortable. But I swear, it was forever ago. We were kids. It's not about the sex. This is where we played.

Dave has a sudden thought, debates with himself as to whether to act on it, and makes the wrong decision.

Dave: Hey, I wonder if it's still there...

Danielle: If what's where?

Dave: Hold on.

Dave gets up and heads for the trees nearby. He searches along the ground for a moment, then finds what he's looking for. "Aha!" He picks up a largish stone, flat on top, and brings it back to the picnic area.

Dave: (to Holly) The day after you left, I borrowed one of Mama June's chisels and carved this.

It is a crudely chiseled broken heart, with "DW" inscribed on one side and "HB" on the other.

Danielle: Awww....

Holly: (sadly) For a while, after we moved, I used to write "David David David David" all over my school notebooks. Then my dad found them and beat the crap out of me.

Dave: Jesus. And I though I had it bad.

Dave, Holly and Danielle embrace sadly for a moment.

Liz has had enough.

Liz: OK, that's it. Break it up. Hands off my girlfriend.

Dave, Holly and Danielle think she's joking and laugh genially.

Liz: No, I mean it! (She grabs Holly by the arm and pulls her away.)

Holly: Liz, what the fuck?

Liz: How much of this am I supposed to take? You've hardly spoken to me all afternoon. You've been too busy sitting in Dave's lap. You were practically necking at one point.

Holly: OK, we were kissing, but it's not like we were "making out" or anything like that.

Liz: And that's supposed to make it all right? In case you've forgotten , you're my partner. My...I mean I was going week...I put a ring on layaway...

Holly: What? Oh my God.

Liz: I was going to propose to you next week when I finished paying for the engagement ring.

Danielle: (holding up her lemonade in a toast) Mazel Tov!

Liz stares daggers at her. Danielle withdraws her toast.

Liz: Now I'm having second thoughts.

Holly: What? No! Liz, I'm sorry. I swear it doesn't mean anything.

Danielle: Liz, seriously, you've got to work on your jealousy issues.

Holly and Liz: Shut up!

Dave opens his mouth to speak

Holly and Liz: Shut up!

Dave slumps, face in his hands. Thought bubble: "Great. I managed to fuck up her life in under two hours. A new record."

Liz and Holly are arguing in the background. Danielle moves behind Dave and hugs him.

Danielle: It's not your fault.

Dave: Of course it is. I spent the whole afternoon practically making out with the woman's girlfriend right in from of her.

Danielle: I think Holly bears equal responsibility for that.

Dave stands and starts pacing.

Dave: I should have known better. I did know better. Liz was obviously jealous right from the beginning. But I couldn't help it. And now I've ruined Holly's life. This is 1992 all over again. Sam Bolton is screaming at me in my head. And laughing at me. And kicking me in the nuts.

Danielle: This is not 1992. We're all adults here. And if Liz is too jealous to give Holly a little slack on this one, maybe they don't belong together. I swear, I'll never understand sexual jealousy.

Dave: Me either. But we're weird.

Liz and Holly have stopped arguing. Liz stalks off to their car.

Holly: Liz, wait!

Liz turns to face her.

Liz: Look, I need some space. Why don't you hang out here the rest of the weekend with your loverboy while I think things over.

Holly: Um, when you put it that way, I'm kind of afraid to.

Liz: No, it's okay. I just need to be somewhere else while all this is going on. If you can keep yourself from sleeping with him, no harm, no foul.

Holly: Sleeping with him? Are you crazy?

Liz: Have you seen yourself in the last three hours?

Holly looks down sheepishly.

Liz: Look, just...have fun, hang out, do whatever, and get it out of your system. The next time we socialize with these guys, I want you cuddling with me, not Dave.

Holly: I get it. But won't you please stay?

Liz: No, like I said, I can't watch. Maybe that's my weakness, but I can't.


Holly: Are you really planning on proposing?

Liz: (smiling for the first time) Yes. You planning on accepting?

Holly: (beaming) Yes.

Liz: Well OK then.

They kiss. Liz drives off.

Holly: (thought bubble): We probably should have asked if I could stay the weekend, first...

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